Hmmmmm....

I've been wondering what it is that keeps me so tied to my electronic communications and facebook in particular. I find that my BlackBerry has become like an appendage, and I didn't even have it until this past December. Now...I can barely stand to be without it. The neverending supply of quizzes, top 5's, status updates, funny comments and riveting developments in the lives of my 278 closest friends, has turned me into a facebook abuser. Yesterday, I spent a good deal of time reading through the food "puns" of Whole Foods shoppers, in response to a posting from the WF page. Well over 100 people took the time to add their comments to this endless string. "Lettuce pray for whirled peas" was one of the best ones.My husband has posited that facebook is singlehandedly responsible for the current economic crisis, since it has undoubtedly cost American employers (and employers worldwide) millions of dollars in lost productivity. He refuses to participate in the degeneration of those who find themselves glued to the screen. He is not a natural communicator, he doesn't enjoy talking to anyone with whom it is not expressly required, whereas I am the person who talks to you in line at the grocery store.In recent days, I have discovered the following interesting things about people I know:Karen met Stephen King...one of my favorite authors, Megan has a thing for 80's movies and their quotes, Chris had a crappy time with Delta airlines getting home from Florida, Danielle is a mushy dog lover with a penchant for In n Out Burger and garbage plates, Michele was on Long Island for the weekend but didn't tell me she was coming, Tara is sick, Kim is painting her house Urban Putty, Doug just painted his apartment Nantucket Fog, Chris likes to wear cats on his head (so do I), Polina is enjoying Williamsburg, Jennifer is NOT enjoying Passover with 5 kids, Victor and Rachael are getting divorced (not from each other), Jill just got a new nephew who shares my son's first and middle names, Carrie is pregnant (yippee!), Jeanne is looking for an ottoman to refinish, Laura got a black eye falling off a bus, Brian is waging a backyard war against a sneaky raccoon, Kevin went to Cutchogue, Michelle is experiencing Passover matzoh bloat, Keira is nostalgic for "Friends", and Melissa is packing to move into her new house. That represents a partial list.Clearly, there need to be some guidelines as to what is fair game for a status update. I have learned of 2 friends' pregnancies via status update. While effective, I used to enjoy the phone call approach. Although...they all start the same way and after a while the surprise is spoiled after, "I have some news..." Maybe the commando approach works better. I believe that the status update approach to announcing a family death doesn't appeal to me, though births are perfectly fine with me. Thus far, the one thing I can't stand getting via facebook is the line in my page that says, "so-and-so is now single" which represents a marital status change. I have seen two friends announce a divorce in this manner. There must be a better way. If it weren't packed away, I'd consult my "Miss Manners" book to see what it is.