The Toughest Job You'll Ever Love

I've been married for 8+ years now and I've been with my husband for 10+ years. Before meeting Alan, I never really thought I wanted to have children. About a week after I met him that changed, and life hasn't been the same since.
First, we got married, waited a year and then started "trying" to get pregnant. Some ups and downs, two relocations, one miscarriage and two years later, Ethan joined the family and I officially became a mother. Suddenly, the world became a scarier place. A place where kids get hurt, abducted, and a place where every object presents a unique hazard.
Then, Ethan started talking and asking questions. In addition to being a scary & hazardous place, the world was now a place of constant wonder that required endless explanations. Things that no person should ever find herself explaining became the objects of long discussions that ultimately ended in the phrase, "because I said so," despite my oath to never say such a thing to my child.
Last year we were blessed with the arrival of our daughter, Eliana. Her very name is indicative of the struggle we endured to bring her into the world. Translated, her name means "My God has answered" and she is every bit the miracle I think she is. She is also living proof that the same deity that sent her to us has a sense of humor. By this I mean, I was sent this little miracle with an iron will and a mercurial temper when I was just a little older, a little more tired and a little less patient than I was 5 1/2 yrs ago.
And so, each morning I struggle with a 5 yr old who is tired and sluggish from not getting to bed at a decent hour the night before, and I struggle with a 1 yr old who just needs to have it all her way. In my efforts to get the three of us ready to leave the house, I am constantly stymied by a child who refuses to brush his teeth or a child who refuses to allow herself to be dressed, and neither of them seems to see the inherent value in my taking a shower.
During the course of the day I get berated for not having the right snacks, not having the forethought to plan a month's worth of playdates in advance, and for a host of other things. In addition to the complaints presented by the verbal child, I am subjected to a day's worth of grunting and pointing by the non-verbal child. If I don't respond quickly enough and with the appropriate object, the baby buries her head in the floor or the next nearest surface and begins to wail plaintively as if to imply that her world is ending because no one understands her needs. It seems I fail her endlessly.
When the day ends, and it is finally time for these angels to go to sleep, we all pile into my bed. Eliana still enjoys nursing herself to sleep and I have the pleasure of watching as her little eyes roll up a little more with each little gulp until she passes into dreamland. Ethan curls up next to me, sometimes grabbing my hand if Eliana's position allows. The warmth of their little bodies laying against mine and the divine stillness that envelops us all as they drift off to sleep somehow helps me to forget the chaos of each day. In those quiet moments after each day's storm, I am able to get back in touch with what it is that I love about being a parent.
I love the feeling of my child's hand in mine as they place all of their trust in me and my ability to protect them from anything and everything (if they only knew!), I love the smell of them as they emerge fresh from the bath, and the sight of them in their pajamas, I love hugging them and catching a whiff of their freshly shampooed heads, I love watching them accomplish a goal they have set for themselves, I love their smiles, I love the sound of their little bodies taking those deep, slumbering breaths that they only take at night, I love looking into their eyes and seeing how they see me...as a hero, a fixer of all things, a healer and a provider.
The Peace Corps decided a while back to use the slogan, "The Toughest Job You'll Ever Love" to describe their brand of dedication. I've never served in the PeaceCorps, and I have a great deal of respect for those men and women who give of themselves to serve others. With that said...I think they got it all wrong. I think being a parent is the toughest job you'll ever love. What makes it tough is that you are working for someone who is nearly incapable of understanding the complexity of your job and what it takes to do it well. The better you are at being a parent, the less likely it is your child will really know how much you do, what you give up for them or how hard it is to do it all until they become parents themselves. Talk about delayed gratification!
For the time being, I'm satisfied with the smiles, hugs and sentimental moments that fill my days. None of those things make my life easier, just more worthwhile. Kind of like a year end bonus that I get to collect every day.